Samuel's Grandma, Peggy and Anna at Mary Bridge....
My Mom came in every Sunday so Mark could stay home with the kids while Samuel was in the hospital for three months in 2004. She did the majority of the picture taking during this time..... She did not want to give these to me until after we had been home for awhile. She asked my permission each week to take pictures and I am sure she thought they would be our last memories.
These are still pretty hard to look at knowing that a lot of them were taken at points we did not ever think we would bring him home alive.
The weekend we "thought" we were going home, Samuel's tummy got so distended we thought it would explode. You can see how large it was in the picture shown left. Later we learned his guts had stopped working. This is referred to as an Ileus.
He also had to lay on a donut sponge for a pillow because of the sever pressure ulcers on his head from laying on it for a couple weeks and having no white blood cells.
The NG tube in his nose is sucking out all the contents of his stomach and small intestine. It was in for over 4 weeks, little did we know then what Samuel was in store for.
The ileus was caused by a condition called typhlitis, which is the inflamation of the cecum. The cecum in layman terms is the joint between the small intestine and the large intestine. The mortality rate of this condition alone is 50-100%. This resulted in the loss of Samuel's colon, cecum and appendix. An ileostomy was performed, meaning his small intestine was pulled out the side of his abdomen and attached to the skin. He now poops into a bag which is glued to the side of his body.
This is acomplication from chemo that causes approximately 10% of leukemia deaths per year.
These were taken 5 days after his Ileostomy.
He was very sad man,
as were we all.
The Hydrocephalus.
This happened less than 7 days after the ileostomy. Samuel stopped talking, moving, crying and his eyes were pinned to the left. No one is sure why this happened. We are still dealing with this today.
We did not know it yet in the picture taken here. I was trying to get him to play with ANYTHING. I would pick his hand up to help him hold the beads but he did nothing.
Our former Onc was planning to do spinal tap chemo the day after this was taken.
Had that happened, he would be dead today. Thanks to everyone who has helped us financially so that I could always be there with him.
These were taken after the VA shunt was placed.
Unfortunately, the shunt never worked so Samuel was incapacatated and the only word he could say was "mama" and only if he was crying. We always left the side of his bed down because we knew he could not roll out, he could hardly move at all. I spent hours at this side of the bed, showing him toys, trying to get him to do ANYTHING. But nothing. We had to wait 5 weeks after these pictures to see any improvement. Our caregivers suspected permanent brain damage.
These were taken two days before we left our former hospital for Children's in Seattle.
Samuel had had 4 surgeries in 4 weeks,
one to lose his colon, cecum and appendix.
The last three were on his head and abdomen for shunt revisions. All of which never worked which was why we were sent to Children's.
Mark just walked in here and looked at these since he hasn't seen them and said, "See, aren't you glad we aren't back there? Childrens DID help him, A LOT!"
Everytime I held him, he looked and acted the same, like a limp noodle who did not know me from Adam. I kissed him, I hugged him, and NO RESPONSE, for WEEKS....
This was a very hopeless time. He was literally lifeless, gone from us. He gave nothing, no smiles, no hugs, his eyes are lifeless, his body was that of a 30 pound newborn.
The bottom picture was taken right after he got sick and threw up all over me which is why he suddenly has no clothes on.
The shunt was obviously NOT working.
I have not seen these until tonight, 9/5/04.
I am glad I did not have a mirror, I would have cried seeing this. I cried anyway then. Seeing it now is worse.
We left our former hospital after 8.5 weeks with Samuel's health in a dire condition. We felt we had unsurmountable problems. He had high risk ALL which had not been treated for 5 weeks. He had an unresolved hydrocephalus. He was totally TPN dependent. He would throw up an NG feed of less than an ounce an hour. He did not speak, move, nothing. He could not sit, stand hold his head up or walk. He had constant fevers, and pain for no apparent reason. In less than three weeks at Children's, we went home.
Thank you God, that we are home.
Thank you God for your many miracles.
Thank you to Dr. Avellino for fixing his head.
Thank you to Dr. Moore for taking on the rest of the problems we came to Children's with. Thanks to Dr. Hawkins for having enough common sense to NOT want to kill him with chemo the minute we came in the door.
4th of July, 2004.
He has a tube going from his head to a bag.
I am still standing at his side, as usual, trying to get SOME response. Nothing.
At least here, they were smart enough to give him a big bed so I could crawl in too.
7/11/04
After the Third Ventriculostomy. The tube is still going from his head to a bag, and unfortunately, this method of draining the CSF did not work either.
I recognize my chair, and my lifeline, the phone.
We went home 7/22/04 after 11.5 weeks straight living in hospitals.
He still was pretty lifeless, hardly moving, saying only "mama" and "no" and only then when he was crying or screaming. He started talking and coming back to life in the second week of August.
Thank you to everyone who prayed for us, visited us, sent us notes, gifts, etc. You helped us so much more than you know.
Praise God, we are mostly now home.
Miracles HAPPEN. Samuel is proof. But it still hurts to see what he went through to get where heis now.
From early 5/04, pre ilwostomy sepsis in the ICU
He layed with his foot up like this for months. The only time it changed was to switch feet. It was the only way he could show us his tummy hurt. If you look at his tummy closely, you can see how distended it was. Picking his lips because that was all he could dio.
Left
Trying to help him sit after the first VA shunt was done. Yes, he is crying. He was able to cry if he was afraid or someone hurt him. We sat him up hoping to help keep his lungs clear. At this point, he had had four surgeries in four weeks. He still had three more in the next three weeks to come before we could go home. Then six more over the next two months.
Samuel at Children's with his head draining into a bucket. The only thing he could do was pick the skin off his lips.
Shown below, the tube coming out of his head draining CSF. He lived like this for two weeks.
Brain still draining into a bucket. Samuel was like a vegetable. I am sure I was talking to Mark, Kirstina or Monika here.
Above, New VA shunt. Still oozing out of the gauze. A wash cloth under his chin because he threw up a lot.
PIcking his lip...still the only thing he could do.
Photos taken on one of the rare occasions I was able to hold him while inpatient. He was in the ICU, had lost his colon some four days before these were taken. We did not even know that we would soon do seven brain surgeries next. He was happy in my arms even though we both cried, he wanted to hold his hair but finding he had none, he held mine instead.
Special Thanks....
Written after we arrived home from this tragedy in 2004
Thank you Lord! We are home. Without you, I would have surely jumped out of the window of the hospital. Thank you that my home and strength is in you. Thank you that YOU are the great physician. Please BLESS each and every one who has helped us "in some small way" as they put it. Lord, you know they all helped in a BIG way. Please bless them a hundred fold and show yourself to those who pray for us but may now know you. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.
Thanks to everyone who prayed for us, thanks to all who spread the word about Samuel and got so many more aware of him and furthered the prayer chain. Thank you to those who love him though you don't know him. Thank you to those who continue to pray for him. He has a long road to recovery with 3 years of treatment still to go. May God bless you, friends and strangers. Thank you to those who write and refer to me as their Sister In Christ. This touches my heart in a way that I cannot express. Thank you, you are all my friends.
Thanks to my Mom for being there every Sunday and everyday on the phone, bringing Samuel new things and bearing the burden. For praying, listening and keeping me believing that God is a healer.
Thanks to my Dad for keeping our bills paid. Thanks for calling daily and caring so much. I am proud to be your daughter.
Thanks our family who helped care for our children while we were gone. Nana and Papa, Dave and Ilyanna, thank you all.
Thank you to Marla and Josh for watching the children, taking them shopping, making them feel special.
Thank you to Kellee and Travis for watching the children, letting them spend the night. Thank you, Kellee for the extra attention you gave Daniel.
Thanks to my lovely friend Carrie, I miss you. Thank you for having the children over to stay, taking them to a movie and making them feel special. Thank you for the extra attention you gave Daniel. I love you and cannot wait to have you and Ben come for a sleepover/cookout and that "therapy" you promised, LOL!
Special thanks to Kelly for feeding Tucker, the special gift and your continued friendship, and support.
Thank you to my faithful friends, Kristina and Monika who called me daily without fail. Kristina, you were my voice when I had none, my friend who was always happy when I could not be, my faithful friend who prayed with me on the phone all the time. What would I do without you? There is a reason I admire you so much, there is a reason you are the logo for Mom and Me. You have been with me from almost the beginning of Mom and Me and I am so thankful we became friends almost two years ago. I love you. Why do you live so far away?
Monika, you are another Godsend! I am so thankful you took the time to write me months ago and offer your support and incredible insight, intelligence and love. Certainly I have sanity today because of your calls, your information, your care for our family. I feel honored each time we speak because you are the voice of radiance and intellect and compassion. Thank you for all the research you did on my part, for all your continued advice and support. I could not have gone through these last weeks without you. I love you, why are you so far away?
Thanks to Ashley at Jump Start Espresso for spreading the word and keeping us in gas and meals every week through donations. We could not have eaten without you.
Thanks to New Horizons Church and South Prairie Cares as well as all who contributed to the food drive, etc which made it nice to come home and not have to go shopping right away. Thank you for your continued efforts and prayers on our behalf. Special thanks to Warren, Lois, Karen, Kelly and Tori for your personal interest and support and care. Thank you for your continued prayer support.
Thank you to the St. Matthew's Churches for caring about us all the way from Tulsa, OK. We thank you for your continued prayer support. May God bless you all.
Thank you to all the churches who continue to pray for us, many of whom we are unaware of. Thank you to those who took the time to add Samuel's name to prayer lists, chains, etc. We know the amount of prayers going up to God would be overwhelming to us if we only had a clue what God hears. As Gloria Copeland says, thankfully God does not have voice mail or call waiting. Thank you, may God bless you each and every one.
Thanks to Tonya at Molina for keeping Samuel in prayer and working out all our insurance issues. Thank you for caring about us. You are the best.
Thanks to those who came to visit us at Childrens, Carrie and Stephanie, thank you so much for coming out! I enjoyed you both so much! Stephanie and Louise--thank you for the gifts and especially for the aquarium for Samuel, ours was never returned. I enjoyed meeting you two! Thank you, Louise for the incredible offer.
Thanks to those who came to visit us at Mary Bridge, Kimberly O, thank you for your numerous trips to visit, your calls, your love, your gifts, I will never forget it. You know where I am, hint hint. Cherise P. thank you also for your visit, your gifts and especially the cookies, you know where to send any extras you may have, LOL! You are the best!
Toni, you are always welcome here. At least we did one thing right this year, Anna! Thank you!
Thanks to April for coming out, a long drive. At least for the week I was home, you did everything, thank you!
Thanks to Regina for using part of your site to help me. If anyone needs custom jewelry made, this is the lady. Visit her at reginagirl.com. She has made me now three gorgeous pieces of jewelry. A birthstone necklace with everyone's stones including mine and Marks with a matching bracelet. Also a birthstone bracelet with Samuel's name and stones that is the most elegant piece of jewelry I own. Thank you, my friend. My love to you.
Thank you to Debbie Robbins for your help and support for our family. Your Rainbows of Hope mean more than you know. Your notes to me have meant so much and I treasure each one and thank you for your love for our family. Visit Debbie's personal site here....
Tons of WAHM's have done auctions on our behalf. A lot of these WAHM's just GAVE us money. Thank you so SO much, your support has allowed us to stay at the hospital and care for Samuel as well as come home and still be able to NOT work. There is and were an OVERWHELMING amount of auctions! I would like to add your biz links to this page in thanks and NOTE this is a work in progress so I will start finding them but if you don't see yours and want it added, please e-mail me asap. I would prefer NOT to leave anyone out. For those wanting to shop online, please patron these kind WAHM's who are truly caring and giving ladies.
Reginagirl Jewelry
Mom Team Website
Knit in Your Pants
Full Moon Baby Gear
Wonderoos
Jam Tots
Tushie Coverz
Happy Heiny's
Snapping Turtles
Diapershop
Kool Sheep Soakers
Righteous Baby
Little Lounging Lizards
Becca Bottoms
Baby Bloomrs
Equanimitybaby
Fabriconnection
Your Natural Family
Zannadu Cloth Diapering Solutions
Baa Baa Bottoms
Baby's Enchanted Garden
El Bee Baby
The Cushie Tushie
Knicker Nappies
Monkey Doodle Baby
Celestial Baby
Wonderful Woolies
Coodles Baby
Tykie Diapers
Doodles Jewels
Kool Baby
Crafty Mommy
Unique Baby Boutique
Baby Bottoms with Attitude
Little Earth Angels
Little Lovies
Morwenna/ Mosiac Moon
Womb and Beyond
Mama Essentials
Kelly's Closet
Lullabye Diapers
Snuggle Frogs
Tastefully SImple
Heiny King
Ells's Diapers
Leukeluier
Knicker Nappies
Montana's Diaper Store
Harleys Diapers
Super Silks
The Berry Patch
Sugar Plum Baby
Simply Sage
Flutterby Baby
Fluffy Mail.com
The Berry Patch
Very Baby
The Master's Miracle
Thanks to everyone who bid on these auctions!
Thanks to all who sent notes of encouragement and prayers. Thanks for all the cards sent to my snail mail addy. I keep them in my purse and cherish them. I read them often. Our love to you.
Thanks to Keila for all your support, calls and gifts to us! Certainly you went above and beyond. You are someone I want to get to know, hint hint. You know where to find me and you are welcome anytime.
Thanks to Jen G. for the incredible gifts to my children and the lovely note to me. I will never forget it as long as I live. You are a blessing. Please don't be a stranger. Much love to you.
Thank you to Sara for the incredible gift of a computer to me. This will be cherished for years to come. Thank you more than you know. Please don't be a stranger. Much love to you.
Thanks to Shandelle for making Samuel a very special scrap book, for your notes, your prayers and spreading the word. You are a blessing. I cannot wait to fill up his book. Please don't be a stranger, much love and blessings to you.
Stacie L. Thank YOU! The gifts were amazing. I think it all turned around upon receiving the book you sent. Thank you so much for your continued notes, love and support. Don't be a stranger, I would love to get to know you more. Much love to you.
Thanks to Pamela C. The book kept me from killing people, especially our fist Onc. I would probably be in jail if not for that. Thank you for your kindness and love and prayers. Don't be a stranger. Much love to you.
Thank you to Amy S for wanting to come stay and help. I may take you up on that yet. We shall see. Don't be a stranger, much love to you!
Thanks to Elizabeth and Grace for the clothing for Kaysha and Daniel from the Gap. These were wonderful for them to receive ant they adored them. When going from house to house, they either lost, left or ruined clothes and it got to the point where Mark could not find clothing that either matched or fit. You two are a blessing to us, thank you!
Thanks to Carla and family for the Blood Sweat and Tears blanket for Samuel, the toys for Kaysha and Daniel and my special bath luxury! Thank you for your prayers and your continued friendship. Much love to you!
Thank you to Dana P. of the Cushie Tushie for sending Mark the razor, it is perfect and he thanks you for no more razor burn. Much love to you!
Special thanks to Karen F, of Kool Sheep Soakers, we are on the map because of your interest in Samuel's Soakers, way back when. Thank you for your overwhelming support to us know.
Thank you to Lisa B. for Samuel's duckie which he loves and the offer to help with meds,
Thank you to Cynthia H. for the notebook, it is perfect!
Thank you to those who sent paypal funds, we would not have been abot to get this far without you! We found we needed some things for Samuel upon returning home to make his life easier since he is currently like having a 30 pound newborn and we had the means to do so.
Thank you to the ladies of the BBB board. These gals made sure we had phone cards with tons of minutes. These ladies are the reason Mom and Me is on the map, and now they keep us above water with their thoughts, prayers, cards, gifts and support. I have received many cards and gifts from people noting they are from BBB, thank you! Many hugs and love to you all! Thank you to Andrea for the card you sent with the $, I was home to get it! Thank you to Jennifer for burning Mark the CD, made for an interesting ride home from the hospital....(I like country music, LOL) He loves it. More BBB names to come....
Thank you to all who sent us diapers for Samuel. I still have some left now three months into this. You are all so amazing and we appreciate you sending these so much. I cannot tell you how many people we educated on "natural diapers" but MANY MANY people are now aware that they exist thanks to your support. Lots of nurses at Childrens have small children and I think that they will soon be switching over to cloth. These will continue to be a need while he is receiving daily and weekly chemo. If you are just itching to send something, we would love 7th Generation Diapers. Our love and thanks to you!
Thanks to those who were so moved by our story that they sent money and/or gifts to us. We would not have been able to pay the bills and sustain without your help. Bless you all.
Thank you to all the great Staff at Childrens who helped us get home, who treated us so well and had great compassion for Samuel and his trials and tribulations. Dr. Hawkins, Dr. Moore, Dr. Avelino, Julie, Esther, Sharyl, Kat and Christie. Special thanks to Peggy from OT for making plans for Samuel's therapy upon arriving home. Thank you, Peggy for caring for us though we were only there a short time. Pray special blessings on these caregivers as you read this. Special thanks to Fred for going to bat for us with the living arrangements.
Thank you to all the great staff at our former hospital who cared for us so deeply. Mary and Tammy, you are the best! We love you both so much. Thank you for making sure we had what we needed at all times. Without you both, I know I would have went crazy. I miss you both a lot. Dr Youwono and Dr. Abdula are the best GI's around. Thank you to our favorite nurses, Karla (who reminds me of Delma, we love you) Kim (who loves Samuel and got me great nursing care when she was not it, a great advocate and fantastic nurse, you will go far), Kathy (who just plain cared and understands my longing for natural health care), Abbey (who is a fantastic nurse and friend to us while in ICU, we miss you), Patti (the June Cleaver of nursing. We have to come see you soon!), Jesus,(how can you go wrong with a nurse named Jesus? Thank you for making it easier for me to leave Samuel in your care) Trina (a gem, fantastic lady), Debi (sweet sweet lady, thank you for caring about Samuel and loving him), Lynne,(Samuel spent many nights with you and we were always glad to have you there, wonderful care) Jodi (What can I say? You are the best, without a doubt. Thank you SO much for caring), Katie (certainly my fav nighttime nurse, thank you so much for coming back when I asked), Karen (the quietest night nurse ever, thank you so much for your excellent care and wishing us well on our last night.), Joy (thank you for helping us when Sam's lung collapsed, thank you for loving Anna, and coming to visit each night you were around), Barb (Thank you for helping us the night Sam's lung collapsed. Thank you for loving him and being so GREAT to us), Sara (you are a sweetheart), Michelle (thank you for arranging Sam's bath and getting us doing what needed to be done), Mike (you know you are A#1 in my book, many many thanks and hugs to you), Lisa (you are fantastic), Olimpia (another Delma, thank you for loving Samuel and talling me it was your pleasure to care for him), Rachel (making sure we had good restful nights, thank you) and Nicole(Thanks for all the attention and special favors, and helping us to get on the way to Childrens). Also our favorite RT's Wondi, Jodi and Roseanne who all LOVED Samuel. You three are the best! IV therapy, thank you to Beth, Samuel will miss running you over in the wagon, as will Mark I am sure, LOL! Pam, you are A#1, thank you for caring for Samuel. Barb, thanks for lending your ear and caring. Sharon and Teresa, thank you for praying for Samuel and loving him. He will miss showing his ducks to you, Teresa. We love you all so much too. Special thanks to Peggy, the Ostomy Nurse, or as I called her, the "Poop Bag Lady" and as Mark called her, "the Princess of Poop", you are the best! Thank you for caring so much for Samuel. Pray special blessing on these lovely people as you read this
Thanks to all the MDC moms for their notes, thoughts, prayers and fundraisers.
Thanks to Don at Widby Labels for designing me a great tag and then forgiving my debt to him. This means more than you know.
Thanks to Staci E, Carla P, Kreg and Jenie L, Stephanie W., Lois B. Monica, Dina W, Tracy P and Wendy M. for the gifts you have sent us this past week or so. Thanks to you I do not know who have found us and feel you were sent by God, thanks to taking the time to write. I read every note, but may not have a chance to always respond. Thanks to all who care, thanks to those who spread the word and lengthen the prayer chain.
People keep asking me how I survive, how I cope. I think for the most part I am numb. If you hit yourself over the head with a hammer enough times, the mind eventually goes numb. So between that and your kindness which is so overwhelming, I can sustain. Thanks just doesn't seem to cover it. I pray that God will bless each and every one of your for the sacrifices you have made in your own lives to help us.
Ode to Being Home 7/24/04
I can sleep through the night without a nurse waking me every four hours.
I am not awakened by another mother's baby crying only to find out that it's mother is NOT there to comfort it.
I can sleep with Samuel AND Mark at the same time.
I don't wake everyone up flushing the toilet in the middle of the night.
I don't have to turn off or reset IV alarms in the middle of the night.
I can listen to music at night rather than banging doors and nurses jabbering.
I can go to bed when I feel like it and don't have to wait on a nurse to hang TPN.
I can get up when Anna wants, or when Samuel wants, but not when the first doctor makes rounds,
No one rips tape off Samuel's head at 6:30am.
I dont' have to worry about Samuel getting a nice RN, I AM his RN and he is NOT afraid.
I can wear my PJ's until I feel like getting dressed.
Samuel can go into more than one room.
Going to a new room does not mean I have to pack all our crap up and move it again.
Samuel does not have to fear that a trip out of his room either means that a body part will disappear or one will be added.
I don't have to call Mark on the phone, he is already here.
I don't have to call my kids, they are here too.
I can tell my children goodnight in person, not on the phone.
I don't have to say goodbye to Mark and watch him go home.
I don't have to cry alone.
I don't have to figure out who will watch the kids today.
I don't have to care for two babies alone.
I have caller ID AND call waiting.
I don't have to dial 9 to call out.
Calling my home is NOT long distance.
I can talk on the phone without being interrupted by a doc or nurse who is about to traumatize Samuel.
I can take a nap if I want to.
I don't have to get dressed to get coffee.
I don't have to walk a mile to get a latte or eat a meal.
I don't have to starve because the hospital food is so bad it is not worth the mile walk.
I don't have to starve because both of my babies are asleep and I am afraid to leave the room for fear I will come back to them screaming in terror that they are alone.
I can go into more than one room that I own.
I am not living out of a suitcase.
I can wash clothes daily.
When I leave Samuel alone, he knows I am coming back and is not sad or afraid.
I can go to the bathroom without wondering which doctor will walk in while I am trying to go.
I can eat without a doctor interrupting my meal.
I can eat ice cream whenever I want.
I can have vinegar water and organic foods that I prepare.
I can eat at a dinner table with my family and the food is good.
I can be with all my kids all the time.
My kids do not have to be supervised 100% of the time.
We are not all crammed into a tiny room.
We don't have to go anywhere anytime soon.
I can take a bath twice a day with my babies.
I don't have to pull teeth and plan with IV therapy to be able to put Samuel in the tub.
I can hold Samuel any time I want without calling a nurse for help.
I can fix my hair and put on makeup if I so desire.
I can get time for myself knowing my children are happy.
The kids can play and run and yell without being told to be quiet.
I don't have to hear them pray for a normal life where they live at home anymore.
Anna might figure out that home is not a hospital room.
The kids can get to know Anna and she can get to know them.
Anna can wear cloth diapers again.
I can give Samuel his meds, see that he is fed and do it all without trauma.
No one takes Samuel's blod pressure.
I can stay up until midnight knowing I will sleep until 8am or so without interuption.
I can check my e-mail without waiting in line and walking a mile to get to a computer.
I can read my computer screen without a magnifying glass.
I can clean my contact lenses without fear that I will be making a late night ICU trip alone blindly.
I can do what I want, when I want for the most part.
I can go out side as much or as little as I want.
People who enter my home do not have to gown and glove up.
Samuel does not have MRSA at home.
I am not constantly on guard, fighting staff or doctors.
I can go shopping, I can get my hair cut.
I can relax if only for a little while.
I can do nothing, or a lot of things
I can have a thought that is my own.
I can take it all in.
I can take care of myself.
I do not feel lonely or alone.
I do not feel like the other shoe will drop.
I am off of the roller coaster.
I can stop to smell the roses.
I might be happy again one day.
I might enjoy something soon.
The numbness may soon wear off and I might feel normal again...
I look forward to that.
Last day at Children's
Our last night.
Samuel still wasn't talking, but his face and eyes are alert and he looks like he is alive, unlike previous photos where he looks lifeless. He cannot sit or stand, walk or talk but he can now eat toys which he did often.
Dressed up and ready to go home.
And the first thing we did when we got home?
Why, wash off three weeks of skin, enjoy seeing my house, my tub and my boy home. We had a long way to go as far as rehab went but we were home.
Samuel taking a wagon ride. We had to prop him up with pillows on every side. He doesn't move or play. He just lays there. Taken after the 1st VP shunt.
Only one word for this....PAIN
and they could not control it.
Tubes draining everything.
Day of the ileostomy, he still has a colon here but it was full of holes and his body was full of poop.
For Anna
I am sorry to tell you this, but these are most of the only pictures I have of you from age 2-5 months. The ones not shows are only because you were naked, your most favorite thing to do there. The only reason I hvae them is that Grandma took them. I never even thought of it. This was your life. You got to swing, play on the floor naked a lot, with clothes occasionally, and you slept in the hammock. I fed you and comforted you, and put you down. You spent a lot of time alone. It doesn't mean I loved you any less. It was just very hard for everyone. You were there for Samuel in a way that Kaysha and Daniel could not be.
This is how Samuel ate and watched TV If he wasn't in his hammock or bean bag, he was in his bed. At least until he learned to walk again, but that was several months after these were taken.
While Samuel did not play or enjoy all the toys sent from you all, Anna sure did. Her play area was the floor of whatever hospital room we were currently in. We padded it with blankets and let her go. It worked okay until she started creeping.
